Words and Music

Exciting news!

Melissa Etheridge is in London next week for a gig at the Shepherds’ Bush Empire, and yours truly is going to it with a Twitter friend  – who’s almost beside herself with excitement (about seeing Ms Etheridge, obviously) As I am of course.

Now, I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I although I knew of  Melissa Etheridge, the singer, I knew nothing of her music. Cue a frantic YouTube session and a M.E overload, until one song pretty much sounded like another, and I was all Melissa’d out.

But this did serve to show that my knowledge of lesbian singers/songwriters was almost non existent. It started with KD Lang and ended with Heather Peace, with a smattering of Dusty Springfield and Lesley Gore thrown in for good measure…altogether not the most comprehensive list, and not likely to gain me many points in the pot luck music round of lesbian life.

And this has only really become relevant because once I came out and started a relationship with a woman, the lyrics of songs that I had previously listened to have a completely different meaning to me now.

The usual offering of ‘man/woman’ love songs don’t quite resonate the same way anymore. The songs are still excellent, and the lyrics that extol the virtues of the singers’ requited, and unrequited love are still uplifting, or melancholy, or depressing…but generally they are not about a same sex couple, and unless the lyrics don’t actually specify a gender, it’s difficult to get past the ‘he/she/she/he’ meaning.

And so I found myself looking for songs that are aimed at lesbians, or at least, songs that are sung by women and not necessarily gender specific. Not as easy to find, but becoming more mainstream now, thankfully. And there are thousands of excellent songs out there by fantastic artists who –  for the most part – write all their own stuff.

And  it highlights of course – even in these more enlightened times – just how straight the music market is, which of course is ironic given how gay the music world is…but gradually, the markets gay is beginning to show.

Of course I still listen to the music I’ve always loved, it’s not like I’m going to listen to exclusively lesbian music from now on – and to be honest, some of the more… folky stuff really isn’t my cup of Darjeeling – but at least the rest of it has more relevance to my life and how I live, and love.

So I’ll be excitedly going to see Melissa next Monday, and no doubt telling you about it here, and I’ll be rocking along with a few thousand (mostly) lesbians…which by the way, is the first time I’ll have been enveloped by that amount of oestrogen in such a relatively small space.

Good Lordy, I may need a lie down with a Kalms and a chamomile tea before bed.

So, type ‘lesbian music’ into your search engine of choice and be amazed at the shapes and colours and overall gorgeousness that is out there…some of it is mellow and relaxing, and some of it is sexy as hell and you may need a lie down for all kinds of other reasons….

Oh, and one last thing. When I got married, I chose a Lesley Gore song as our walking out music…’Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows’…the gayest song in the world…

Have a great day!

H

Hello lovely lesbians

Hi, and welcome to my blog for clueless lesbians.

I should warn you that I’ve never ‘blogged’ anything in my life before, so this is another little adventure to be had.

So, I’m wondering, how did you come out? Were you even in, or like me, in for all my adult life but knew I should be out?

Shaking it all about…

sorry.

In my previous life I was with a man for 11 years, married to him for 5, then met a woman online, had the epiphany, left the husband, moved in with the woman, had the great sex, divorced the husband….and through all that had hardly any clue how to deal with the ups and downs of an actual lesbian relationship.

I did occasionally shake it all about though.

But to a newbie, it’s daunting, whatever your age.

I did the right thing by ending my marriage and being honest with myself – we come out to ourselves, not to others. Once we are honest and true with ourselves about our sexuality, the hard bit is done. It then gives you the confidence to share it with others.

If I’d come out 30 years ago, it was a very different time and I don’t think it would have been anywhere near so easy – this is a much more accepting and enlightened era, and attitudes have – generally – mellowed, at least in the UK. In parts of the US and elsewhere in the world of course it’s still not easy at all, and in some countries, it’s even illegal and punishable by death. So, I take nothing for granted.

But, really, does who I share my life with make any difference to someone else’s day? Well, only if it’s them I share my life with.

Believe me, if you don’t have a say in the colour of my kitchen, then you certainly have no say in my choice of partner.

But I can guarantee I’m having way better sex than them…I do know how to shake it all about.

So, I’d love to hear your story – how you came to be at this point in your life. And if you have a clue what to do with it.

I’m going to post random thoughts, questions and occasional witty and insightful jottings on here,  feel free to comment…but constructively please.